my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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