The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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