Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
