Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
