it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
