Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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