that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
