my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
