White coat. Heels.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
