Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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