Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
