i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
