were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
