So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
