I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
