if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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