The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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