I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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