tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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