So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
