he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
