I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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