end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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