Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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