i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
