We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
