Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would fuck him just for his dog
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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