We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize