So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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