I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
