for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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