i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
