Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize