Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
