Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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