Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Fuck appropriateness.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
