I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont even know how to be here
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
