Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Everything about him screamed your future.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
