And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
