is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
