bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want nice things and good sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize