dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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