U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
