U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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