do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
