Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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