I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
