I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
