this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You need a sexual gate keeper
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
