girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
