what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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