At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
