we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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