don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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