there's paper in my vomit.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
