thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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