Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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