i just had sex bonerless
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize