Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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