The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize